Heroes and Wives
by catholicorprotestant
Summary: Natalia moved around her entire life. She couldn't stay in one place long. A brutal attack had left her unable to trust and form relationships. That is until Alfred walked into her life making her question things. Alfred dreams of big things. Natalia may just be the motivation he needs to shape up. Amebela. Part of the Unexpected series.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi, so I'm hoping to update every two weeks or so. I have probably too many fics going on, but I couldn't wait. I feel like this is some of my best writing and there needs to be more amebela.**_

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Natalia wiped the sweat from her face as she stepped off the treadmill. She took a long drink from her water bottle, her eyes glued to one of the televisions playing an episode of a crime drama she loved. She'd seen the episode before, but she still was on the edge of her seat with every episode. The detective was questioning a suspect on the murder of a woman in an alley as she grabbed some wipes to clean the equipment. Rarely did people clean them after they were done. It was a disgusting habit. It made her want to scream. Her father would have worn her out had she ever not kept things pristine, let alone making another person clean up after her. The typical idea of "they get paid to do it" was so far out of her mind. She could not understand how people found that to be okay. But she guessed that was the life of an army brat. You learned your manners and you learned to keep things in a row. A toe out of line was not tolerated in her family.

She made her way to the weight room, keeping her head high and eyes straight as the men stopped their reps to molest her with their eyes. She couldn't show how uncomfortable it made her, how disgusted she was. She put on her bitch face and ignored them. It was no wonder women were turned off at the thought of lifting weights. The men acted as if they owned it and the overload of testosterone made most of them hypersexual. Any woman who entered, even the staff who were just there to clean up after the animals, were instantly a spectacle. She watched one of the staff members struggling with a fifty pound weight plate, eyes fixed to the ground not daring to look up as five men ogled her as though they were starving wolves who'd found prey after days of nothing.

She rolled her eyes and walked over to the girl. Natalia refused to let another girl be treated in that way. If she could be there to show them they weren't afraid, that they couldn't be manipulated and would not quietly give in to their disgusting behavior and demands then by god she would be there. She offered a smile to the girl and took the fifty from her, sparking up a conversation as she glared at any guy who had the nerve to undress them with their eyes. Did they not know they needed the blood to be in their muscles, lungs, and heart? Not pooling in their favorite organ. She had spent so much of her life being treated like this. Her sister had gotten most of it. The memories of sexual assault haunted Natalia's mind. She hated them. She hated what they did. She could never trust a man. She knew well enough they could not be trusted. She had to stay in charge of the situation. If she wanted to fool around that was her prerogative. She would initiate it and once she was done, she'd break it off. Control.

She found out that the girl's name was Julie. She was nineteen and attending the local university to be a kindergarten teacher. She worked at the gym for extra money where her financial aid didn't cover the bills and expenses. She was from Georgia originally and had ended up in New Jersey for something new. She could have gone to school to teach there, but she wanted a change of pace. Natalia understood that. She moved around her entire life. She couldn't stay in one place too long before her skin started to crawl and the world called her name. Something new was her life motto. Julie's voice was soft and accented. It was endearing to Natalia's ears. They talked for a bit, great conversation in Natalia's opinion. If she were the type to make friends, she would have wanted to be hers, but just like staying in one place, Natalia couldn't stay with certain people too long either.

Once they'd finished racking the weights, Natalia bid her a good day and started her work out. Biceps, triceps, lunges. She fixed her eyes on the mirror to watch her form. Her father had taught her about fitness. He kept his three children in tiptop shape. She learned weight training the second she was old enough to do it without hurting herself. She'd never missed a day since. Exercise was addicting. It was the one thing she'd never get tired off. She had opted for gym membership to a gym that she had access to any location available worldwide. She powerlifted a few sets, brushing off any man who came near her. She didn't need a spot. She knew that was stupid. That her distrust put her in danger. She didn't care. She'd rather drop weights on her chest than be touched by someone she hadn't approached first.

She was glad to leave the weight room. She could feel their eyes on her ass as she walked out. Let them look. If they disrespected her boundaries, she'd break their arm. She had gotten better, stronger than she'd been. It wouldn't happen again. She drained the rest of her water into her mouth before she stretched out her muscles. Her eyes scanned the gym. She noted the regulars. She never talked to them, but she knew her fellow gym rats. There were a few new people who were making an attempt to get more active. A smile danced on her lips. It always made her so happy. She hoped they'd stick with it. Seeing people stop coming filled her with pain. She knew it was hard to start and everyone should be encouraged. Nobody should feel dumb trying to figure out the machines. You had to start somewhere. Nobody was born knowing how to do this.

She showered and changed into fresh clothes. She dried her hair and applied her makeup. Fuck what anyone thought or said. She could look as beautiful as she wanted for herself and if anyone tried anything, she'd make sure they regretted it. Slinging her bag over her shoulder she went to the smoothie bar to order a protein refresher as usual. They were free, part of the membership. She stood at the table, tapping her fingers on the counter as she waited. She could feel her body longing for something greasy. She wasn't sure if anyone else got that feeling. She felt weak if she didn't have it. It was almost like a hangover in a way. She just needed the smoothie to drink as she walked down the busy city street to her favorite burger place where she'd order a double cheeseburger, chili cheese fries and a large strawberry shake. It was a guilty pleasure, but she felt she didn't have to answer to anyone. She ate well the rest of the day. Fuck what anyone had to say.

"Hey, darlin'," a voice next to her penetrated her thoughts. She looked up to see a blond man she recognized as a regular. He usually kept to himself during his workouts, his earbuds in as he probably blasted loud music. He was one of the only ones who seemed to take his workout as seriously as her. His blue eyes stared at her from behind black rimmed glasses, his crooked smile making them sparkle. The only thing missing from him was a letter jacket and you would have had the poster boy of an All American boy. "How was your work-"

"Don't you ever fucking call me 'darlin'' against asshole," she glared grabbing his shirt in her hands and pulling him to eye level. She said darlin' in a mocking tone. Who the hell did he think he was? "Do you understand me? Or it WILL be the last thing you ever do. Got it?"

"Whoa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" he started.

"Did I fucking as you what you meant? I told you to fuck off," she intensified her glare.

"Yeah, okay, I understand. I'm sorry."

"Good," Natalia smirked.

"Um, can I have my shirt back now?" he asked innocently.

She rolled her eyes and threw him away from her. She hated guys like him. Guys who thought they were so nice. Who hit on a girl at the gym? It wasn't a place you picked up a date. It was a place you went to work out for whatever your reason was. Natalia's reasons were health and to release all the darkness from herself. She took out her aggression and anger with intense physical fitness. Her blood boiled as she watched this guy frown at the table with his eyes glued to the puke green marble. He wanted sympathy and she refused to give it to him.

"I really am sorry, you know," he offered, not moving his eyes from the table.

"Yeah, whatever…" she rolled her eyes.

"Hey, I'm serious and you're being mean and it isn't right."

He stood up straight now, making eye contact. He stepped back this time. She smirked and shook her head. Typical. These fuck boys thinking they were the victims. Fuck that. Fuck them. She wasn't there for their pleasure. Why could they never understand that? Why didn't he understand it? She pushed the memories away and checked for the status of her shake. She didn't understand why it was taking so long.

"You want me to forgive you. Why should I? God, you're all the fucking same…" She refused to look at him.

"Look," his voice was softer now, almost defeated. He turned and put in hand on the counter glancing at the menu. "I know you get harassed and stuff. And it's fucked up and all. I'm sorry."

The tone of his voice and the fact that he acknowledged how she was treated, how every girl in there was treated and every woman on the streets of the city were treated, made her look at him. She wasn't sure why. Perhaps he was genuine? Everything in her told her that wasn't the case, but her eyes turned to him. She gave him a once over before her eyes settled on his shirt. Large, crimson Greek letters popped from the black shirt. ΔΚΕ…Delta Kappa Epsilon. Frat boy. Of course.

"Yeah, ooookay." She glanced at his shirt as a hint. If he caught her, he didn't react.

"No, it is. And I'm not askin' for anything. I hurt you and it's not okay and I am sorry," he frowned again. It didn't suit him.

"You must think you're a good guy, don't you?" she challenged, turning toward him, crossing her arms. She had no idea why she was talking to him. She could ignore him. She could walk away.

"Well I mean…" He rubbed the back of his head and looked away nervously. "I'm told I'm annoying and I talk too much and I laugh too much as too loudly for both. I do have a lot of faults, but I hate hurting people and seeing people get hurt. I just wanna make the world a better place, ya know?"

She frowned. She wasn't expecting that. She had never met a guy who apologized and admitted his faults before. It was intriguing, but also made her nervous. What did he want? What was he planning? She need to know. He seemed genuine…but what if he wasn't? Well if he tried anything, she could handle herself. She prided herself on that. She'd play along. What could it hurt? It had been a while since she'd had some fun. She'd take the bait.

"You didn't say anything to anyone in the weight room when they were saying shit and being disgusting people."

"You are fierce. I know you can handle yourself. You were powerlifting three hundred pounds! You no damsel in distress, honey. Crap, sorry!" He blushed and looked away obviously embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. That made you uncomfortable, oh crap."

She nodded slowly, not really looking at him as she glanced at him. She let the "honey" slide. So he wasn't one of those jump in just because she was a girl type guys. She wanted to know him better. Something in her was curious.

"Do you like burgers?" She asked, twirling a strand of her white blonde hair around her finger, absently.

"Yes," he perked up with a smile.

"Milkshakes?" she raised a brow.

"Of course. Chocolate is the best," he let out a laugh.

"So I know a place…I always need fatty food after a workout or I don't have energy the rest of the day," she said with a sigh, leaning against the counter.

"Oh man, me too. I know what you mean. It's kind of draining and works up an appetite for sure," he agreed.

"Well…" she began. "We're both done with our work out."

"Yeah," he nodded, looking over the counter. He was probably wondering where the shake was like she had been.

"I'm hungry. Are you hungry?" she gave him doe eyes.

"I'm starving!" He rubbed his stomach.

"It's not too far…the place I mean." She licked her lips.

"I hope you have a good time," he grinned. Was he playing with her?

"God, add oblivious to your list of flaws. I'm asking you to come with me," she said annoyed.

"Oh…" the man wrinkled his brow and rubbed his arms awkwardly. He glanced at her. "Are you sure? You've been angry at me for like ten minutes." Their shakes were placed on the counter finally.

"Are you in or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?" she smirked, picking up her shake and taking a slurp before turning and walking out. She made sure to snap her hips. She smiled to herself. Control.

A moment later he was at her side. He brushed his hair back and let out a breath. He had his protein shake in his hand. She sipped on her drink not saying a word or acknowledging he was next to her. It was almost too easy. She didn't think he was going to take the bait earlier. She thought for a second maybe she had misread everything. She thought he may have been gay. Maybe he still was. Is that why she didn't get that red alert that told her to run? Did she somehow sense it? Was that possible? She didn't feel unsafe with him which was more than she could say of anyone else. Even the guys she fooled around with she had still felt a bit on edge.

"This is the place," she smiled opening the door for him. "After you, sir," she smiled playfully. She knew the drill.

"No, no, ladies first," he said almost timidly. She looked at him. He winced slightly. She wondered if he'd noticed. She shrugged.

"Whatever. I'm going to get the best seat I guess," she winked and slinked into the restaurant.

She sat down a booth on the side facing the crowd. She couldn't feel alone with him. She may not feel unsafe, but she didn't feel safe. She didn't want to chance it. As he slid in the booth she thought maybe they should move to a table just in case he tried to slip a hand up her thigh. It would have been simpler to explain why she had thrown him to the ground if there witnesses to see the assault. She felt her heart quicken. She couldn't breathe. _Control_. She nodded to herself and looked up at the man sitting across from her. He was looking at the menu. She didn't even know his name. Why did she do something so stupid? She left and she didn't know his name.

"So I don't think we've properly been introduced," Natalia said, picking up her menu nonchalantly. "I'm Natalia." She didn't dare give her last name.

"I'm Alfred Jones. I'm sorry. I shoulda introduced myself," he looked embarrassed.

"Alfred?" she raised an eyebrow. "Did your parents think they were having an eighty year old British man?" she let out a laugh.

"Hey!" Alfred said defensively, but in a playful tone. "My brother's the favorite. He got a normal name. Matthew," he smiled. "Nah, I got stuck with a family name from my dad's family."

"Is your brother younger?" Natalia really didn't care.

"No, older by two and a half years," Alfred smiled.

"So why wasn't he plagued with the old man name?" She folded her hand on the table.

"Well…" Alfred shifted. "He's technically my half-brother. We have different biological fathers. See our dads were best friends for like ever. Since they were two or something. Anyway, our mom came into school and they both liked her, but Matthew's dad said something first and my dad just helped him. So anyway his parents fell in loved and they got married pretty young and mom got pregnant with Mattie. They were planning a surprise party for his dad's birthday. He called to say he was on his way home from work. Well…he never made it home. The surprise was yelled at police who were there to say he'd died in a horrible accident. It was really sad. Matthew's mom had just found out she was pregnant a week before and she was going to have the news be a surprise for his birthday. He never even knew. He wanted to be a dad so badly…"

Alfred trailed off as their waiter came to take their orders. Natalia sat silently. This sounded like such a personal story. Why was he telling her this? He had said he talked too much, but she thought he'd meant small talk or at least something that wasn't quite as heavy as his brother's father's death. Why did he trust her? She could be a murder and he was telling his life story to her. It was strange. Who was that open? Their drinks were brought to them and Alfred continued.

"So anyway, it was really sad and our mom was so scared she was going to lose Matthew because she was so upset, but she didn't. She and my dad were close too because our dads were best friends, so obviously. He took care of her. Moved in so he could help her through the difficult time and get her through her pregnancy in the way she deserved and was pampered. He knew exactly how Matthew's dad wanted it because he wanted the same thing. Apparently they were a lot alike. Well you know one thing lead to another and they were dating by the time Matthew was born. They were married when he was eighteen months old. My dad is the only dad my brother knows. He actually adopted him when he and my mom got married, but they kept his dad's last name, Williams. They thought it was the right thing," Alfred sipped his coke.

"Wow…" Natalia played with the ice in her water. "So…so are you two close?"

"Oh yeah. Matthew is my best friend. I tell him everything. He's the only one I don't have any secrets with, ya know?" Alfred smiled.

Natalia was floored by that. Alfred kept things private? At the rate he'd gone, she was sure he was an open book. They'd met a whole twenty minute prior and she already knew something so intimate. She hoped he didn't expect as much. She didn't tell people about herself. She didn't get close. She hoped he'd keep talking. When he didn't she glanced up.

"Okay, but seriously, who looks at a baby and is like Alfred! Like honestly!" she laughed softly.

"Well my family calls me Alfie. Matthew is Mattie. It's what we were called as little kids and well it just stuck and that's what we're called. I like it though. Alfred really is a stuffy name," he let out a laugh as well. "So what about you? Siblings?"

"I have two. A brother and sister. Both older," she said shortly.

"What are their names?"

"Ivan and Katyusha," Natalia glanced over his head at the crowd.

"Where are you from?" Alfred asked. She shifted. "I'll go first. I'm from New York. I grew up in Manhattan."

"Seriously?" Natalia was shocked. "I would have pegged you as a Southerner. You seem to have that kind of personality. I don't know…" Natalia shrugged. "You're not a New York type person."

"I get that a lot," Alfred laughed. "I was born in Brooklyn though."

"Oh…" Natalia shifted. She figured she might as well talk to him. She'd asked him. So wasn't that what she was supposed to do? "I was born in Germany on an army base. My dad is in the army. Ivan joined too. So we moved a lot. I'm not from anywhere."

"Oh…so that must have been fun, huh? Getting to go everywhere?"

"No," Natalia took a few breaths. She glanced at him. "You know what it is? I can't be in once place. It makes me uncomfortable. I can't make meaningful relationships."

Her eyes bulged. Why had she said that? She didn't let things like that be known. She wasn't not that type of person. This wasn't serious. He shouldn't know anything about her. That was none of his business. This was a bad idea. She should have just gone home. Katyusha was probably wondering where she was. Her sister always worried. Ever since that night. Natalia closed her eyes and brushed it away. Maybe she should text her sister to let her know it wasn't happening again.

"Just a moment," Natalia muttered.

She pulled out her phone, a faint smile on her face at her sister's worried text. She responded quickly. "I'm okay. I'm eating at Kippy's with a guy. Alfred Jones. From New York…Manhattan. In a frat at the university. Delta Kappa Epsilon. I'll text you when I'm on my way home." She slid her phone back into her pocket and smiled at him.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," Alfred smiled.

Their food was brought over. Alfred talked enough for the both of them. She wondered if he had sensed her being uncomfortable. She listened to him. He had hopes and dreams of doing something great. He was a business major she learned. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do with it, but he only wanted to do good in the world and make as many people happy as he could. Even if he had one person smile because of him, he was happy. She'd never met anyone like him. Someone so pure. She felt herself loosening up until they were talking and joking around like old friends. They laughed and enjoyed their time. She couldn't remember having this much fun in a long time.

"Oh, shoot," Alfred stood up, slapping a twenty on the table and scrambled up. "I'm late for class. I have to go. I'm sorry. Um, here." He picked up a napkin and scrawled something on it. "I had a really great time and if you want text me your number."

Natalia rolled her and eyes and shook her head. She didn't text first. It was a rule. She refused to seem like she was anymore invested that she was. She took the pen off the table and took his hand to write his number on his palm. He smiled at her and awkwardly stood there for a moment as though he was unsure of what move to make. She laughed softly before shooing him away. She watched him run out.

She picked up her bags to leave herself. She texted her sister she was on her way home before laying her own money on the table. She walked into the cold evening air, her head filled with thoughts of this Alfred. She liked him. He was different. She actually wanted to see him again. That scared her. Why? He seemed like a great guy. Maybe she'd stay in the game a little longer than him…and she needed to be more careful than ever.

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 _ **Thank you for reading! Please review.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**There's gonna be some smut, y'all! Enjoy**_

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The sizzling of cooking meats filled the morning air. The mixed aroma of breakfast tickled Natalia's nose as she entered the kitchen. Katyusha smiled at her from where she stood at the stove. She muttered a good morning to her sister. Natalia hugged herself and turned to stare outside their apartment. The sky was dark and gloomy. She opened a window and took a deep waft of the stormy air. A smile danced across her lips. She loved rain, even more, she loved storms. Her mind danced to plans of walking in the warm, heavy drops of water falling onto her face when she walked to the gym. The thoughts filled her with peace.

She poured herself a cup of orange juice and leaned against the counter. Her mind fell back to that boy at the gym, Alfred. She hadn't seen him in a few days. She wasn't sure why she cared so much. Sure, he was interesting. She didn't feel like he was going to hurt her. Still she couldn't understand why he was on her mind. He kept popping in. She hoped she would see him. Why? He didn't mean anything to her. He was just a dumb frat boy…a dumb frat boy who had been the only man she'd felt comfortable around in years.

She sighed loudly, frustrated with herself for thinking about it. She sat at the table and tapped her thumb on it as she rested her head on her fist. She went over her fitness routine in her head. Cardio. What did she want to do? Maybe she'd take a nice run in the rain. It sounded like such a glorious idea. The park might be a good place to start. Yeah, the park. A smile spread over her face at the eagerness to finish her breakfast. She needed protein to get her through the morning and a little fruit to give her immediate energy. So a two mile run in the park and then walk to the gym to keep her blood and oxygen pumping to her muscles before she did some lifting. Then it was time for class.

"What are you thinking about?" Katyusha asked with a curious smile as she slid into the seat across from her sister.

Natalia jumped slightly at the question. She had been so lost in thought, she hadn't even noticed that her sister had set a plate in front of her. She glanced over it. Boiled eggs, plain. A bit of assorted breakfast meat and a side of strawberries and Greek yogurt. It was perfect. High protein, low carb. Just the perfect combination for her lifestyle. She had to stay fit. She needed to be able to fight someone off if she needed to.

"Nothing," Natalia started, picking up her fork.

"Nat…" Katyusha started. Natalia knew she didn't believe her. She always knew. Natalia rolled her eyes and set her fork down.

"My workout this morning will be a nice run in the park and then I'll lift at the gym. I hope someone tries something. I'd love to make one of those assholes squirm." A smile danced on her face at the thought.

"You're thinking about that boy, aren't you?" Her sister looked giddy.

Natalia rolled her eyes. Why did her sister not understand that never again would she do anything more than play her game with these men? She couldn't let her guard down. It would never be love. She had to be in control. If she felt the control slipping, she'd decide it was boring and let the poor sucker off the hook. This Alfred guy just might be her next victim, but maybe he wasn't. He was handsome and sweet and funny, but was that really enough for her to pick him to play with? Maybe she should go with someone else. She didn't want to destroy him. She didn't play with many sweet guys. Usually they were nice enough, but were more about themselves than others. They usually knew their worth and it showed. She'd always see the smirk on their face when they thought they'd finally hooked her. Little did they know she was in charge. She could have laughed in their face and walked away, but no. No, instead she said yes and let them think they were in control. It was a game of cat and mouse where the mouse was in charge, a regular Tom and Jerry. Alfred though…

Alfred was sweet. He wasn't traditional. His laugh was infectious and his eyes sparkled with his constant smile. She didn't think it was possible for him to stop smiling unless he was upset or something. Even his resting face was a smile. He was friendly, but not pushy. He had made her comfortable enough to laugh with him. She'd forgotten to be cautious. Things had been fun. When he talked about himself, she knew instantly he wasn't full of himself. He knew his flaws and he wanted to change them and own them. He was different. Did she really want to change that? To make him feel like she did? That nothing was worth believing in? That happiness was elusive?

"No, I just haven't seen him around the gym lately," Natalia shrugged.

"You like him," Katyusha giggled softly.

"Ugh, fuck off. No. I don't. I don't like men," Natalia spat, glaring at her sister. "I don't trust them. They're scum. What are they good for, Kat, except maybe a good fuck. You don't even need them for that. A dildo and vibrator are better than they are. Did you know they can engineer sperm now? They're obsolete. Let's get rid of them, huh?"

Katyusha frowned and stared into her plate. Natalia closed her eyes and cursed under her breath. She'd forgotten how upset those comments made her sister. She didn't even understand why her sister cared so much. Katyusha didn't like guys either. She was a lesbian. She was dating Lili Zwingli, whom Natalia was fond of. She'd be living with them if it wasn't for Lili's brother, Vash, being an overprotective dick. As if Lili couldn't take of herself.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Natalia," Katyusha mumbled softly. She lifted her eyes. "They're not so bad. I know you don't believe that after what you've been through, but…"

"My own boyfriend organized and filmed what they did to me. My boyfriend. Whom I loved. I trusted him. I was supposed to be able to trust him. And look where that got me. And our own father told me to get over it. So no, I don't believe that shit, Katyusha."

Natalia was shaking. She wanted to leave. She needed to get out. She finished her food quickly, standing to drain the rest of her orange juice. Her skin was crawling as she forced herself to stay in the house just a few minutes longer to rinse her dishes. She called a farewell to her sister as she ran out with her backpack.

The brisk winter air hugged her. She welcomed it. The rain would be warm. It was always warm on her skin even when others found it cold. She inhaled deeply as her heart stopped racing. She started on her way to the gym to drop off her backpack in her locker before she went for her run. She put her earbuds in and blasted her music loud, drowning out her thoughts as she went through her tasks.

Finally she was able to get to the park. She stretched beside a park bench assessing the activity around her. People were already out running. Some had their dogs with them. There were groups and partners and solitary people with their music keeping them motivated. She was pleased that there were people who weren't letting winter stop them. She saw a couple of guys running next to each other. As they got closer, she couldn't help but notice that the taller man looked a lot like Alfred. She wondered if it was. He was about the same height, blond hair, glasses. When they were a few yards away from her she determined that he was definitely not Alfred. His frame was smaller and he was nowhere near as muscular as Alfred. He had a runner's body. Lean and toned. She thought for a moment that perhaps this was the brother Alfred had talked about. She couldn't remember his name, and she couldn't be bothered to care. His running partner, a shorter guy with dark hair and a similar body, only more slender suddenly went white and stopped to throw up in the nearest trash can.

Natalia cringed. He must be new to running. She remembered her first days running. She would feel that twist in her stomach and everything would come rushing up. It was the toxins leaving the body. She wanted to tell him that. _She wanted to?_ She rolled her eyes to herself. Since when did she care about men? Fuck them. Couldn't be trusted. They thought owned the world. They thought they owned women's bodies. No. Fuck that. No. She shook her head, but continued to watch them. She was sure that this blond man was definitely Alfred's brother now. He was rubbing his friend's back. The shorter one stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. She could see tears running down his face. Alfred's probably brother handed him some water that he used to rinse his mouth. He kept crying. The other pulled him into a hug and rested his chin on the shorter man's head. She smiled to herself. It was sweet. Maybe these men were gay? Maybe she could talk to them. Did gay men think they owned women's bodies? She wasn't sure. She mulled it over in her mind.

She decided she'd go over and make it casual. She did want to know about Alfred. She started their direction. She was so close. Panic rose up in her chest and she took off running. No, she didn't trust them. She couldn't. What if she was wrong? What if it was an act? You could never be so sure. There were too many open questions and she was not about to talk to two strange men in the park. She was sure that one had been the brother Alfred talked about and while he claimed his brother was the sweetest person on the face of the planet, why should she take his word for it? She was not about to be hurt again. No. She hated them. They were dangerous. Men. She closed her eyes to fight back tears and the images flashing in her mind. Her legs took her faster as she ran from them. She didn't know what she'd do if she ever saw her attackers again. She hoped she'd fight them. Make them regret what they'd done to her. Her thoughts powered her through the intense run. By the time she stopped, she'd missed her class.

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Natalia walked into the gym for the second time that day. Missing her first class of the day threw off her schedule. She had a strict schedule for a reason. It kept her focused. She didn't have time to spare. Sitting idly by wasn't good for her. Free time allowed the trauma to come back. She'd made it to her second class, but she had still been anxious and jumpy all day. She needed to burn some of it off. Who needed doctors when there was exercise? She didn't want to sit in a room for an hour while someone tried to tell her how to deal with what she'd experienced. She'd have to talk about it and she didn't want to. Medication messed with you. She could deal with this all on her own. She didn't need help.

She held her breath as she walked into the locker room. Nobody was in plain view, but that didn't mean there wasn't anyone hiding. She checked the stalls and shower, her heart racing and tears threatening her eyes. Nobody was there. She breathed a sigh of relief that there wasn't a man hiding out in the women's locker room to be a pervert and get off thinking that he owned her body or anyone other woman who walked in. She quickly changed and walked out onto the floor unscathed. This was the routine for the locker room.

Natalia closed her eyes as she started the elliptical. She listened to the steady hum on the machine and those in use around her. People were talking to each other about various things. Their days, drama, television, movies, boys, girls. The rock music from the speakers played with the harmony of the pumped up Latin music from the Zumba class in the room just outside the cardio suite. In the distance there was the slight clinging of weights. It was a familiar sound. She loved it so much. It filled her brain and calmed it. She was in control of her thoughts. Control. Control. Control. She repeated the mantra to herself for a moment.

After cardio was weights. Then a protein shake. She waited, tapped the counter lightly looking around, as she waited for her shake to be ready. She hadn't seen Alfred. Where was he? She had been working out at this gym for almost a year and she'd seen him almost every day. It had been a week. A week. She was started to wonder if she'd scared him off. Maybe he'd gone to a different gym. She chewed the inside of her cheek. The scent of a man's cologne announced a presence next to her. She rolled her eyes and glanced over without moving her head. It wasn't Alfred. She ignored his attempts to hit on her. She pulled out her phone and read over her emails. Finally she grabbed her drink off the counter and started to walk away.

The man grabbed her arm. She dropped her phone and glanced up to stare into those hazel colored eyes. She couldn't breathe. Tears popped to her eyes. She couldn't move. She just stood there gaping at _him_. Memories of _him_ staring at her as his friends violated every entrance of her body flooded her mind.

A loud bang.

She realized suddenly this wasn't him. This wasn't her ex. That monster couldn't hurt her anymore. He'd let go of her arm and was asking questions. He was offended. How dare he be offended when he'd touched her! She scrambled to pick up her phone and glared at him.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again," Natalia hissed.

"Come on, baby, I just wanted to talk to you for a minute," his Brooklyn accent added something to the statement that caused her stomach to turn. It was vicious, predatory. It was the same accent as _him_.

"Don't call me baby." She began to walk away.

"Sweetheart, you're killing me with that ass of yours. You know you're just asking for me to give you attention. Come on, what's the matter with yous?"

Natalia turned and gave him a sweet smile. She walked to him and pressed herself to him. She felt his arms on the small of her back. He closed his eyes as he leaned in taking the bait. In one swift motion she stepped back, punched him stomach then kneed him in the face. He fell to the ground, screaming in pain, blood covering his shirt. She spit on him.

"I said don't fucking mess with me," Natalia growled. She looked up. People were staring at her. She shot daggers. "Does anyone else think they're entitled to me? Anyone wanna touch me without my permission?" They scattered.

Natalia walked out, not glancing behind her. A satisfied smile on her face at the sounds of his groans of pain. She hoped she'd saved the countless number of girls who would have fallen victim to that asshole. She was shaken. All the training she'd put in. All the hopes that if she saw them again, she'd be able to defend herself had proved to be incorrect. She held the tears back. She couldn't cry in the streets. It'd bring unwelcome attention of the vultures. No, they weren't vultures. Vultures didn't have a prey. They only had their food after someone was through with it. She wasn't sure which was worse.

She ducked into her favorite pizza place, not bothering to survey the room like she generally did. She sat down in a booth in the corner of the room with her back to the wall. She already knew what she wanted. Medium beef and mushroom pizza. She would eat the entire pizza and leave satisfied for the night. She wished she had friends to do these things with. She'd stopped talking to her friends after that happened. They hadn't understood. She blinked away the tears as she ordered, not looking up at the waiter. She stared at the wall, crying softly. She'd failed. He could do it again. She was trembling.

"Hi, Natalia!" She heard a familiar voice.

She looked up and saw Alfred grinning back at her. He was wearing black slacks with a mint green dress shirt and a black tie. He was so handsome cleaned up like this. It suited him. She was actually surprised. It was only now that she saw in the middle of the room about twenty guys sitting around devoured pizzas with pints of beer and empty shot glasses, all dressed in similar clothing. A few of them were watching, calling to Alfred telling him to "get it." Alfred ignored them and frowned at Natalia.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently. She shook her head and let out a soft laugh.

"Would you believe me if I said nothing?" she whispered.

"No," he frowned, "but I'd understand if you didn't want to talk about it. May I join you?" She nodded. He was so sweet. He knew to ask. Natalia wanted to throw herself at him. She needed this. She just…

"Alfie, you coming?" One of the fraternity members called.

"Nah, you guys go on," he called. They called out all kinds of protests and made disgusting gestures. Natalia watched them silently. Typical.

"Sorry…" Alfred slid in on the opposite side of the booth. "We're having Initiation Day. It's been a solid week of Initiation Week. We have the Rushes go through tasks all semester and then this week was the weeding out process. So we're celebrating the brothers who got in. They're all pretty drunk and they're dumb, so…" Alfred shrugged.

"Why do you want to be a part of that?" Natalia asked, wiping her eyes as she ate.

"It's fun," he shrugged. "And you get a sense of being part of something. I was kind of scared to start college. I was really popular in high school and the idea of going somewhere where nobody knew who I was out of the state…it was really scary. So I rushed. I got in and made thirty brothers and friends. I'd take a bullet for those guys." He flashed her a smile.

"That sound really lame…"

"It's not. You can think so, it's okay…" He leaned back.

Natalia ate in silence. She didn't look up. She didn't offer him anything. She listened to him talk. She wanted to do this. She needed it. She looked at him. He was telling some story about a camping trip he and his fraternity had gone on. She stood up and slipped in the booth next to him and pressed herself to him, kissing him. He pushed her back after a moment.

"Natalia…"

"Shut up," Natalia whispered trying to kiss him again.

"You're upset and feeling vulnerable. I don't want to take advantage of you. Look, you're a really beautiful girl and I find you attractive, but I don't want to hurt you," he started.

"You're not taking advantage, you asshole. I'm kissing you. I want to kiss you. It's not a split decision thing. Why do you think I invited you to eat last week? Why haven't you been at the gym all week? You know, what? Let's not do this here. Can we go back to your place?" She just stared at him. His arms were so strong, yet gentle as he held her away.

"I've had I week…" Alfred said with a confused look.

Natalia nodded. She slapped a twenty on the table and stood up. She hugged her jacket around herself. There weren't many people around. Empty tables surrounded him. She frowned at the mess the fraternity had left. Why were they such animals? She turned her attention back to Alfred.

"Wanna fuck or what?" she asked bluntly.

"What?" he breathed.

"Look, we both find each other attractive. You seem to like me. God knows why. Let's go to your place and just fuck," she proposed.

"I don't know if…" Alfred started.

"Pussy," she muttered walking away. She knew it was rude. She knew it was disgusting. But she just didn't care. She felt rejected. She had seen _his_ eyes. She'd felt so scared. Her mind was swimming with all the memories. She needed to sleep with someone. She needed to prove to herself that she was in control of her sexuality. That he didn't control her anymore. Fuck him. She would show him.

"Natalia, wait," Alfred was at her side on the sidewalk. She stared at him. He was out of breathe. She wasn't even that far from the pizzeria.

"You need to stop lifting so much and do cardio," she muttered.

"If you're sure…" he said softy.

"If I'm sure what?" Natalia stopped spinning to stand in front of him. "If I'm sure I want to have sex with you? Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not someone you need to dance around with and take the moral high ground. I know what I want. I've been looking for you at the gym and I haven't found you. I just…" she wrapped her arms around his neck. She stared at him, searching those blue eyes. Fuck it. He was her prey. She'd play the game with him. He'd think she liked him. "I just need you."

He stood there. God, he was so awkward, so innocent. He was so handsome, so breathtakingly handsome. Maybe she would have actually dated him before everything happened. Now she could just play her game of cat and mouse with him. It was safe. She controlled the game. She could hurt him if she wanted to. She could throw him to the ground like that man at the gym if he tried so much as to try to take control. His hands were on her hips now. They were somehow next to the building. She could feel the bricks against her arms. He picked up one hand slowly and brushed the hair from her face.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed before sliding his fingertips down her cheek. They rested under her chin and their lips brushed at first before the kiss became more passionate. She pulled away from him with a giggle.

"So where's your place?" She gave him a playful look. He jumped off the wall and grabbed her hand, guiding her in the direction of the subway.

* * *

He lived in dorm room on campus alone. He had once had a roommate, some kid named Lovino, who was now living with Alfred's older brother Matthew. Alfred claimed they were close. Natalia wondered if that was the guy she had seen with his brother in the park. She still didn't care about their names or who they were. She just wanted to get naked and get lost. Alfred kept talking. He didn't live in the fraternity house because his parents didn't want his grades to slip. They were paying for his school, so he didn't want to make them angry.

She surveyed the room that smelt like something she really wasn't sure what it was. There was bits of uneaten food in boxes and on bags littering the room. She frowned at the sight. She mentioned that he should probably clean his room once in a while. He laughed shyly and told her he would. The blue grey walls were decorated with a Delta Kappa Epsilon crest flag that hung over his full size unmade bed. Black sheets with a blue comforter were thrown haphazardly across the bed. There was a desk, the only organized thing in the room, with textbook and folders for each class. A bookcase was built into the wall and had been turned into a storage place for not just books, but videogames and movies. She glanced over the books surprised to see it was full of classics. She wondered if maybe they were for a class. He didn't seem to be that type of person.

She turned and saw him fidgeting by the bed. His eye danced from her to the bed. She glanced down and saw that he was getting eager for this. She slipped out of her shoes. She wanted to laugh. She pulled off her shirt slowly. She knew his eyes were on her. She could hear his breathing go ragged. She gave him a seductive smile and kissed him. She pulled at his shirt, undoing the buttons. He pulled it off in a swift motion and tossed it as he pulled her into a kiss. She ran her hands over his torso, taking note of the fact that he was in as good of shape as she thought. She stepped away and pushed him gently on the bed.

"You got a condom?" she asked, breathy. He nodded and pulled a few packs from the small nightstand she had over looked. She smiled. Perfect. She slid off her pants. He did too. "You've done this before right, frat boy?" She winked at him.

"Yeah, tons. Since I was sixteen." He assured her.

"Good," she breathed.

She straddled him and kissed him so softly. He was barely moving. She smiled into the kiss. She was in control. She grinded against him gently, teasing him. He let out a soft moan. She pulled back and unhooked her bra. She pulled her hair band off at the same time with her other hand, shaking out her long blonde hair, not taking her eyes off him. He stared at her breasts. She smiled. She pressed against him once more to whisper seductively in his ear what she wanted him to do. She pulled back and ran her hands down his arms, linking her fingers with his for just a moment as she brought them to her breasts.

He cupped them gently, then ran his hands down her sides. She let out a laugh as he flipped her on the bed. He had suddenly awoken from his shyness. He thought he was in control. He was doing exactly what she wanted him to do. She let him think it was his idea. He was above her now. His warm mouth was kissing and suckling her. He was rubbing her breasts causing her to smile. Her breath quickened. So he wasn't a virgin. She'd been afraid at first he was lying. She watched him tease her body. She could feel herself becoming more and more ready for him as the wetness grew. She felt him slide of her underwear. He watched as he did to.

"Do you want some too?" She whispered sitting up. He gave her a confused smiled. "I can give you head," she clarified.

His eyes went wide. She giggled softly instructing him to lay back. He'd never had one. She smiled to herself. He was going to love it. She'd make sure. She reached over and grabbed a condom from the table, slipping it on him. She teased him gently before taking him in. She heard him gasp and let out a soft moan. She watched him as she worked. He was getting so frazzled. She knew he was getting close from his breathing and his movements. She stopped and sat up. He looked at her, begging for her to finish. She shook her head with a devilish grin.

"I'm not going to have you cum and then not perform," she whispered. He bit his lip and moved his hand. "No touching, baby."

She pulled him on top of her. They kissed passionately. She felt his fingers rubbing her. She moaned into his lips. He was teasing her too. She knew it. Tears filled her eyes and he almost pushed her over. He stopped and pulled back, a grin on his face.

"Ready?" his whispered. She nodded.

He pulled off the condom she'd put on him and rolled a new one on. She watched to make sure he did it correctly. She felt him positioning himself and then pushed in. Her mind was lost. It was her and Alfred. She was controlling this. She wanted this. She was the master of her own destiny. Nobody controlled her. Not a soul. Thrust after thrust. It was passionate. He really did know what he was doing. She praised every god there was that he wasn't just some dumb college boy that thought he knew. She had half expected him to cum the second he pushed in her. She came first. She grasped at her hair as the orgasm spread across her body. He pumped through it. She moaned. He came moments later. He collapsed on the bed next to her.

Natalia kissed him softly. They cuddled. Alfred kept kissing her and stroking her hair back. She stared at him. She couldn't think of anything besides him. She was there with him. Nothing else mattered. There was no anxiety. Nothing haunted her. Nothing existed but the two of them in that room. She asked to use his shower. He nodded. She rinsed off the sweat from her day. As she thought about what she'd done, a smile crept over her lips. Yes, she most definitely was going to play the game longer with this one.

* * *

 _ **Hope you enjoyed this! Review please. :)**_


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